Lead Me, Guide Me, Walk beside Me
There is this song that I sang throughout my childhood that meant a lot to me then and now becoming a parent takes on new meaning. There is this one phrase that goes, "lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way...". This phrase creates a picture in my mind of a child seeking help, earnestly trying to find out how to navigate life. Children yearn to learn. They innately want to grow and discover what this world has to offer. As a parent, it is a sacred responsibility to raise a child. To help give them experiences that encourage personal development. This can feel like a big responsibility at times, almost overwhelming. I know as a parent I feel that responsibility. I am afraid to mess up because then that means I have messed up my child's future and then every good thing that I have done doesn't matter cause now all I can see in the future is a ball of fire.
Okay so maybe I went a little extreme, but you get the point that being a parent can be a lot of pressure. Yes, it can seem daunting and overwhelming. I can see how some parents, when they get overwhelmed, they may lash out at their kids. This is not okay. Yes, life can be a lot and very hard, and yes you have a lot of responsibilities on your shoulders, and yes Timmy did just break your favorite glass vase given to you by Aunt Gertrude at your wedding and you can't believe what he just did and you want to tell him so. BUT remember what is most important. That your child knows that you love them.
In a book written by Dr. Laurence Steinberg titled 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting he wrote, "...when the context of what you are saying to your child is hostile or delivered in an especially angry way, your child's attention will be drawn to the tone of the message rather than the real substance of what you are trying to get across."
Remember this. Nothing that you ever say with anger will fall upon ready-to-hear ears. You are creating a situation that will be a lose-lose. You need to take a step out, walk away, and just take a break. If you have ever done this, GOOD FOR YOU! That is a healthy and appropriate response. By handling a hard situation in a mature way you are setting the example for your children. Being a parent does not mean you are expected to be perfect. You will still be learning right alongside your kids. Think about it, what a wonderful way for your kids to learn right alongside, Mom and Dad.
Naomi W. Randell & Mildred Tanner Pettit. (1957) I am a Child of God. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Steinberg L. (2004). 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting Simon & Schuster
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