Understanding Marriage's Greatest Myth

What is a trend? If you had to define it today what would your definition be? If you had to define it back from when you were a child, would that definition change? Here are some examples to help you better understand what a trend is. 

Here is one trend that I know about, that happened back in the 40s. Have you ever heard of a baby boomer? Do you know why some people call a lot of the older generation boomers? Because between about 1940 and 1950 the birth rate jumped from *18.6 to 23.0. There was a literal BOOM that happened with the amount of babies born after World War 2. My grandma is apart of that boom that occurred. I'm sure if you asked around, someone that you know was a part of it too. 

Did you know that around the baby boom another trend was happening? After our troops came back from war, there was an increase in divorce rate. Wait, what? Yep! Marriages were being dropped at a rate higher then we had ever seen before in the US. Now back then, someone could only get divorced for a reason for one of the 4 big A's. They were; abuse, abandonment, adultery, and (extreme) alcoholism. If you could prove to the courts that your spouse had done one of these, then they would allow a couple to divorce. You see it wasn't until 1969, that a law was passed that allowed couples to divorce for reasons outside of those 4 big A problems. If you take notice in any study done on divorce, you will see another rise in 1970 that lasted till the 80s, because of this law. And most of the couples getting divorces where kids born of the baby boom. They were repeating what their the older generation do when they were kids. Kinda interesting huh? 

So now after those examples, what would you say a trend is? 

From my understanding, a trend is an observation of where things are headed. Trends are predictions based off experience or data from the past. Well one man predicted a trend about 30 years ago. Have you ever heard that 50% of marriages all end in divorce? I have. I actually first heard this when I was 11 from someone who I trusted. This individual told me that between me and my two brothers, one and a half of us would get a divorced. I remember being shocked and thinking to myself which one of us (or two) it would be? 

Well, since then I have learned that this is a common a falsehood many (including myself) have taken as fact. Around the 1970s a sociologist said that if our current trends continue the way they are going now, then 50% of marriages would end in divorce. IF the trend had continued as it was going back in 1946-1949 then yes, nearly half of all marriages would be ending in divorce. But the trend didn't continue. The divorce rate today is averaging around 24%. This is 26% lower than what I thought it was a week ago! 

Now you might be saying, “cool but why does that matter?” This matters because if we start building marriages with a foundation on false truths, then we are building on a rocky foundation. One that will be hard to maintain over a marriage. If we, as a society, can expel the rotten and misunderstood myths that we believe are true in a marriage, then we will establish stronger foundations from the start of a marriage. Giving them a greater chance at a successful marriage. 

I once heard a quote that said, "marriages last because two people make a choice: to keep it, to fight for it, and to work for it." -Unknown

So what are some other myths about marriage that are out there? What are other pieces of misunderstood information that are trending in the world that we need to put a stop to, so we can build lasting marriages that are worth fighting for? 

Sources 

*https://eh.net/encyclopedia/fertility-and-mortality-in-the-united-states/