Have you ever met your friend’s
sibling before and the thought runs through your mind, "Ahh I totally see
it," but they look nothing alike? Has that ever happened before? Or maybe
you are out in public and see a mom with her three kids and you just laugh because
of how alike they throw cheerios at each other. What happens in those
situations that make you and I see the relationship between siblings? Well,
what you are seeing is a family culture. A culture, according to The Webster
Dictionary is, "the characteristic features of everyday existence (such as
a way of life) shared by people in a place or time." When it comes to our
families, we have a culture in them whether we consciously recognize it or not.
In the definition of a culture,
it talks about having “characteristic features” within a culture. Those characteristic
features are often seen in rules. We all have rules in our families, spoken and
unspoken. And when someone doesn’t live by a rule, you notice it. Some common
rules in a family are bedtimes, eating dinner before dessert, or not sitting in
mom’s chair. These are some general rules that can be seen in a lot of families,
but what about your specific? Can you think of any rules that set you apart
from other families? I will share one.
When I was growing up, I spend
many weekends at my grandparents’ ranch. While there I would hear wild stories
from my uncles about how they once found themselves stuck between a bull and a
fence. My uncles are great storytellers, and I remember envisioning what as
happening as if I was there. They would use words that perfectly described what
was happening and their reactions. Everybody would laugh and carry on about how
funny they are. I wanted to be like them, so one day I tried to use some of the
words that my uncles used while talking with my mom. She did not react in the
way I thought she would. She matched to the bathroom and told me to open my mouth.
She them took a bar of soap and washed out the ungraceful words with I had spoken.
From that day forth, I know that a rule in my mom’s house was to not use swear words.
If anyone every used it, I sure noticed and so did my mom, because that is a rule
or we could say, apart of my family culture.
As a culture is passed on through
the generations it grows and changes. And every generation is going to alter
the culture in a way to better suit them and their day and age. But have you
ever thought about the culture you are building? That you are adding to your
family culture right now. And are you adding to benefit for future generation to
make life easier on you?
When I was asked this exact
question earlier this week, it has led me to reflect a lot through the week. I believe
that my mom was trying to raise me to be a lady, and I appreciate her efforts. She
has greatly influenced who I am, especially all my good attributes, and through
me and my four brothers she has set a solid foundation in which generations to
come will benefit from. But when in doubt about the culture I am building in my
family, I ask myself the following questions. What am I doing for those future
generation? Am I adding to the solid foundation that others have built and
worked on before or, or am I tearing it down little by little? Am I doing what
is best for myself or for others? What am I doing to help the future of my family
culture? And I invite you to ask yourself the same questions about the culture
you are building in your family.
concerned.
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