What does it mean to cleave? For example “ to cleave to someone.” From my understanding when you cleave to someone or something, it means being together so tightly it’s hard to separate.
In D&C 42:22 it says, “ The Lord has said: ‘Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shout cleave unto her and none else.” In Ephesians 5:31 it reads “ for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.” I have noticed when the Lord repeats Himself in scripture, that He is really trying to make a point. That we need to pay attention and listen to what He is saying. To cleave to a spouse means to truly be together that being apart is hard.
Now when I speak of being apart, I speak of the terms in decisions and living life. Sometimes there are circumstances that caused us to be physically away from our spouse. These are not the situations that I am discussing. I am talking about truly being together in aspects of life so that your bond grows stronger and you two come closer together.
Now to go a little different way I want to talk about being self-reliant. I know this may seem strange to talk about this when I am at the same time talking about cleaving to one another. But hear me out. As I have been studying what self-reliance is this week I have come up with a list of what I think it means to be self-reliant to me.
I have strength and these strengths will help me go far in life if I use them wisely.
I set up appropriate boundaries that help me know when to say yes and went to say no.
Knowing that I can’t do everything, which means sometimes I need to ask for help.
A hard work ethic
This list may seem small but to me, it is what helps me be self-reliant. Now to revisit cleaving to a spouse. How can I be self-reliant, but also rely on or “cleave” to my spouse? I believe that being self-reliant and cleaving to a spouse work hand-in-hand. let me go through that list again and show you how they relate.
I have strengths that I will bring to my marriage, as does my husband. As we work together our strengths will lift one another and help better one another.
My husband and I have boundaries for all areas of life. We set boundaries in our finances, in our jobs, in school, at work, and in other places. These boundaries help us stay safe and help build trust with each other.
Knowing that I cannot do everything allows me to rely on my husband.
As things are tough, and they most certainly will be, we both have to put in the work and effort to keep our marriage strong.
Now, these are just four things, and I am sure that this list goes on and on and I could write about it all day. My greatest takeaway from it all is that as I rely inward and outward my marriage will be strong because my relationship is a self-reliant relationship.
At times this will be hard. It is hard to put my faith, trust, finances, home, heart, and love in the hands of another person. But I know that as I do this, the trust that we have in one another will grow stronger and so will our love and in turn our relationship. I challenge you in the next week to find a way to be reliant on someone. Trust that they will finish and follow through with a task you care about. I promise that as you put your trust in those who love you, they Will reciprocate it. And you two can grow closer together.
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