When I think of dating, I think of teenagers or single folks. I also think along the lines, "that is a thing of the past." Now a days we 'hang out'. I have come to realize that I need to realign how I see dating. It is for everyone: married, single, old, or young. I will be sharing how my understanding of dating has been enhanced this last week and hopefully I can help you have a new understanding as well.
"Dating is like a cannon.
It shows the trajectory from your courtship throughout your married life"
(Michael Williams).
Dating is so important because
it helps create habits and attitudes that will continue on through your dating
experience with an individual (and if you two continue to marriage it will flow
into that relationship as well). Since it is so important in a relationship, let’s
start at the beginning and ask why do we date someone?
There are many reasons to go on
a date with someone, but overall I think a lot of dates are to try and get to
know someone. "There are 7.7 billion people on this Earth, there has
to be someone who wants to date me." I have heard more than one person say
something along the lines of this, and it's true. There are billions of people
here, so someone must have the same interest as you and in you. So why is it so
hard to find that "someone". Well for starters, we run everyone
through filters and the number one filter that is used is geographical. You
will not see all 7.7 billion people a day, there is no physical way. So, we are
left with those around us. Then we make assumptions, both about someone's
physical appearance and their personality. I know for me, the more I got to
know Jack (my husband) the more I found him interesting and attractive.
Once we have filtered through
those three things, (locally, physically, and intellectually) we are left with
those who we desire. Then what? Well, now you have found that person, them out
and see if they would like to do on a date with you.
Before we get into the date, let me
define what a date it. Like I mentioned earlier, in our current day dating has
been replaced with ‘hanging out’ with friends. ‘Hanging out’ is not dating. Dating
helps two people get to know one another in a more intimate way. Dating can be
defined in with three Ps: 1. Paired off 2. Planned for 3. Paid for. These three
Ps can help anyone tell the difference between a date and hanging out. Let’s discuss
each one a little bit.
Paired off: When one individual asks someone out
that makes a special connection between the two. Asking someone out shows
undeniable interested and shows people that person is off the market for the
night.
Planned for: when one person plans a date this shows
their partner that they are someone who can provide for the other. This shows
special care and consideration, someone you can count on.
Paid for: There is a phrase, “why waste your money
on someone else’s future wife”. This is a very selfish phrase. Dates do not
have to be expensive or even cost anything at all. But when it does cost, and
you pay for your date’s frozen yogurt, well let’s just say that you will get
more out of that money by buying her yogurt then saving it for yourself.
With dating, it is an activity that
two people do together to grow in understanding and in their relationship.
Dating can help a relationship 1000 times more than ‘hanging out’. And you are
never too old or, been married to long, to go on a date with one another. Dating
may be going out of style, but that style was magnificent. We need to keep
dating alive if we want to keep relationships alive. And what can it do but
help a relationship?
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